2 January 2012

2012.........so it begins

............And the Devil sat back and said ''This year I shall admire Dunny's work''

So, here we are, 2012, the year where we're gonna perish cos them Mayans said so (nothing to do with the fact they ran out of room on their circular calendar of course!). The year that England are gonna win the Euros and I'm gonna get married and quit being a cunt (and stop sinking copious amounts of Red Wine). Well, there may be a bit of truth in all that, but I ain't gonna please the ball and chain by slamming it on here! I'm sure when it happens I'll post some snazzy images of some equally snazzy birds I saw whilst doing aforementioned deed!

Anyway, yeh, it's 2012, and that's good innit! Means that all us birdy types have been out already and been concentrating dead hard on seeing Yellowhammer, Treecreeper, Goosander and some ducks (It's the 2nd of Jan as I write this ya see).
So, when I woke up, yesterday, I had some coffee (too much if my volume of piss-breaks had owt to do with it later in the day), loaded the car with my shit and sat in it waiting for it to get light! I waited about 13 minutes before I plucked up the courage (WTF) to pull off the drive and head towards my first destination unknown!
Well without going into all that shite in-depth detail about what I did etc, I'll just tell ya that I very briefly stared at some fields in Notts before foolishly entering the nasty, evil, old & depressing county of D*rbyshite, where I spent a fair few hours traversing various lanes and muddy tracks attempting to add a myriad of species to my NYD list. I will now stridently declare that birding in D*rbyshite is a birding bag of wank!!! The 'nailed on' Mandarins at Bradley Dam had fucked off, the Shrike at Beeley had gone into hibernation and the Great northern Diver at Carsington bummed me out of £2.50! The only positive of the day was discovering a flock of 40+ 'Blings near Beeley and some tight arsed blonde bit in a pair of skin coloured jodhpurs walking her stallion casually down a back lane near Riber Castle! I finished the day with a meagre total of 62 species beneath my belt, well short of the 80+ I'd come to expect when doing a Notts NYD fuck around!

I was gonna add some pictures but I really can't be arsed fannying about. The images from these two days are on my FaceBook page so if you're a FB saddo, check them there. I'm also 2/3's thru a bottle of Rouge Juice which always helps!

Day Two or 2nd January if you're a bit dumb.
Me and Mikipedia stupidly went to Attenborough NATURE RESERVE. Arriving early morning, all was well. Not many twats knocking around, nice blue skies and abit of cheery enthusiasm. It didn't last long! We bagged a few year ticks, a Scaup and a gorgeous Mrs Smew were the highlights,

But our birding activities soon caved in with the increasing arrival of non-birding riff-raff! Ya know, them sort who wake up in a morning, sink a couple of posh filter coffee things & croissants and then for some fucked up reason announce to their suffering other half and fat child ''Today, I shall take you out on an adventure, for this morn, I will take you for a lovely stroll around one of south Nottinghamshires premier birding reserves, where we will skip merrily along the various pathways, splash in mud, shout gayly about our festive delights that we did behold and scare every fucking bird within earshot to the other side of the river! Oh what fun we will have!!''
So, after a few hours dodging these fools, we returned to 'The Black Lark'' where we were mightily puzzled by what was occurring! The car park has become a seething mess of mis-parked motors, the mini roundabout that is usually so gentle had become a mental fuck-up of carnage and the entrance/exit road had developed into a mish mash of double parked shit brained losers! Attenborough NR, as it's name declares, IS a Nature Reserve yet due to its close proximity to the scourge which is Nottingham, has now, due to various pro-joe public amenities, become a very close cousin to that other shit-hole they call Disney World! Every fucking scruffy (and well booted) family within 5 miles of the pits obviously think that a day in the country equals a few hours traipsing around a few old ponds on the outskirts of their beloved smoke! Now I wouldn't mind a few random nobodies having a casual stroll but when they bring their obese fucked up offspring with them, who insist on ramming slices of stale Warburtons down the throat of every unwitting Canada Goose, who then think it's acceptable to yell stupid childish comments when 'their goose'' eats their crust followed by cramp inducing pathetic silly jumps of joy, then it gets too much! Personally I'd advise locking them things in the tumble dryer if you fancy a walk around a site designated for wildlife, then we'd all be happy!

After rolling out of the hell hole, and after a sumptuous meal of McDonalds snap, we stared at a 100% pure classic Tristis at Netherfield! Seriously, this one looks the dogs nads!
We also had a mooch around the reserve itself but saw relatively fuck all and went home. I finished day two with a 2012 total of just 78 species. There's probably a few other bits I wanted to talk about, well tell you about, but it's half eight and I've got some rouge juice to polish off so, yeah, peace out! xx

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