20 December 2010

Scope Packing Rambling

The following is a very brief load of nonsensical rambling bollocks based on my own random ponderings of Sco-Pacs. It's a pretty weak affair which I've aired merely to vent my own frustration (I've tried Sco-Pac porn but have been met with 'currently there are no results that match your search') - Anyway, please don't read if easily bored, a UEA bumboy, one of them cunts who will attempt to pull me up for having an opinion or one of them cunts in birding who spout shit on TwatForum - you know what types I mean!

Sco-Pacs - those tripod X rucksack contraptions that are now extremely common place on the birding scene. They're bleeding everywhere. At any twitch nowadays you'll inevitably witness a plethora of birders (and i use the term Birders very loosely) adorned with a tripod with a rucksack attached. That's basically what it is.

If you're unlucky enough to share your patch with other birdy enthusiasts you'll quite possibly know someone who owns one. This year I've been foolishly attempting to (not)see 300 species of bird in Britain and on reflection, I honestly think that the non sco-pac wearing brigade are now the minority, although I have to add that the stereotypical 'beginner birder' was the fundamental culprit in this survey.
On my last visit to the British Birdwatching Fair at Rutland Water in 2009, I was pretty stunned to see and bear brunt to the Sco-Pac revolution within the confines of the jam packed marquees! Why on earth would you feel the need to proudly exhibit your 'scope atop your tripod, on your back, within the stuffy, birdless, birderfull enclosures of a giant tent (with your bins draped around your neck too - What's that all about? Do you do that when you go shopping to Morrisons?).
Sadly I have a few birding brothers who also feel the need to traipse around with their gear strapped to their backs - A telescope is made to be combined with the eyes, which are on the front of the human body, not the back! I've often enquired into the need for the Sco-Pac with them and their response has invariably been 'cos it's easier(?) to carry and saves me the pain of carrying it balanced on my shoulder, ya know, the tripod leg digging into my shoulder bone innit'. This I can very slightly kinda agree with but only if you're trekking the length of three Blakeney Points, blindfolded. One of my example arguments is what if whilst out birding, say at an inland reservoir, your trusty Sco-Pac strapped to your back, when in the distance, thru ya bins, you pick up a Skua shaped bird bombing across the sky. By the time you've unhoisted your 'pac from your back, checked to see if any unfortunate souls are within 'bashing' distance (yeh, like that happens) and extended the legs, the target could quite possibly have done one and that self found patch/county/British(!) tick opportunity has gone! - This, combined with the cost and that you look a proper cunt wearing one (YES you do!), ensures that the Sco-Pac has not featured on my precious list that I sent to Santa this year!
NB. I have been reliably informed recently by my contacts on the inside that there is to be a FaceBook campaign within the next 6 weeks to make Sco-Pacs 'Kool'. Apparently, the master plan is to get all birders aged between 14 & 34 to carry a Sco-Pac by April 17th 2011!

I personally wont be joining said campaign, I'm more interested in joining the campaign to get a song entitled 'Use my Arsehole as a Cunt' by Kunt & the gang, to No.1 in the charts by the end of 2010!

Below are an handfull of losers who I've 'papped' this year...

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