12 May 2013


As I sit here on this cliff top, c800ft above the azure Atlantic, the sun causing my hairless head to sizzle and Alpine & Pallid Swifts whizzing around just feet above me, it's heartbreaking to know that in just 24 small hours I'll be back in the shithole that is Britain...

That is what I  (should have) thought about typing only a week ago whilst I was perched upon some craggy rocks on the south coast of Portugal and I would have done if I had taken this laptop with me & had one of them snazzy dongle things that allow you to get online anywhere AND if I had any inclination whilst I was there to carry on with this blog thing..... Ya see, earlier today whilst out in a restaurant celebrating the wife's mother having her appendix out, I saw a sign on the wall that read 'Don't be a selfish dog, create a Blog' - Now I'm unsure what it meant cos I was too lazy to wander over to the other side of the room to read the small print, and I'm not even that sure I read it correctly now I think about it, but what I thought it read made me think about starting a blog. YES, I'll start one of them birding blogs that other folk do and scribe bags & bags of bollocks about the shitty birds I & the rest of the country have seen. I'll type an essay about who went & how we got there and who we saw and what we ate and what the weather was like and the other birds we saw and generally bore the eyes out of any sad twat who chooses to read it!!! YES!!!!!

And then I realised.... I've already got one!

Yep, this is it, my blog. The Web Log, where I'm supposed to post all manner of bullshit about what happens in my life. But why do I need it? I've already got a Facebook account where I post absolute bollocks on a daily basis, insulting folk & generally being a cunt (mainly after consuming some wine). Surely my thoughts & ramblings are better off on there being read by my chosen audience instead of on an open 'Blog' where any Tom, Dick & Barry can read it?

 *I got abit stuck what to put next so this 5 minute interval is when I went to open some Vino Tinto & have a smoke while I thought about how to carry this on - Please be patient*

So, this Blog. My last post on here was back in December 2012 when I left you all hanging on by not concluding my Cuba trip report. Well if you're one of the 500,000 that read my blog and are desperately awaiting the conclusion then wait no more!!!! No, I mean that, stop waiting. Stop! Now! It's not gonna happen! I'm not doing it. I really can't be arsed.
What? You really want to know what happened in them last few days? REALLY???? Ok, perhaps I might do one short post to conclude that particular tale, in a couple of weeks though, ok? Don't get excited though. It'll be concise and to the point, just for YOU! Ok, and you. And you.

Right then, where were we......
                      Ahhhh, 2013, what have we been up to............


  1. God, I just can't wait for the rest of your Cuba post. Give it to us big boy. Oh yeah! Mmmmmm.... you're the Daddy!

  2. How can I be John when you're my uncle?